"You're on your journey home."
After the initial shock wore off, I began to see this was a perfect opportunity to make a clean break from my current life. I figured I’d move to my new job, new city, and leave everything behind and start all over. I was so excited!! The company relocated me, so that morning when the movers came, my partner and I were going to follow the moving truck as far as we could in my car to my new home. He was driving the first leg of the trip so I took the passenger seat, as I got in the car I noticed a reflection in the grass, I looked down and I saw a silver cross etched with the words JESUS IS LORD facing directly at me. I hadn’t seen the name Jesus for years and for that instant, it was like I was looking at an old friend. I picked up the cross and as I did, I was overwhelmed with a warm peaceful sensation throughout my entire body and then I heard a voice that said, “ you’re on your journey home.” I actually looked over at my partner to see if he had heard it… I could tell he hadn’t. I put the cross in my pocket and never mentioned it.
OMG!!! “You’re on your journey home”… where did that voice come from? Who said it? I thought I may have imagined it but it was too real, a voice I’d never heard before. #not that I hear voices ha ha! But I did that day. All I could think about was that God was with me!!! He was with me!!!! HE was with ME!!!
Did you get that? God talked to a gay guy…. what’s the chance you say? Well, pretty good if you choose to believe in what He’s done for us…
When we arrived at my temporary residence it seemed so surreal, I’m not one that adapts to major changes quickly but it all worked out really well. My new job started that next week and so my partner left… without me saying anything of my plan to start fresh. Within a couple of weeks I had located a great townhouse about 15 minutes out of the city and moved in. I was beginning to really enjoy this new life….at that same time I realized that I hadn’t told my partner my plans and I didn’t want to lead him on with the hope that he was going to move up here with me…. so I asked him to visit and told him that I wanted to begin a new part of my life and it didn’t include him. I thought he handled it really well and we said our good byes. He told me years later that he was so distraught that he called my mother and told her I was gay.
She never mentioned to me. That broke my heart. In time I learned to forgive him.
My new job was overwhelming to say the least but fantastic. I traveled a lot and headed up three divisions, giving out corporate directives. Needless to say it kept me very busy. But the best thing I did was to join a church in my neighborhood and became very involved. One night I was laying in bed channel surfing and stopped on a nationally known evangelist… again… that evening I asked Jesus into my heart. I couldn’t believe how easy it was.
It was perfect. I remember right before falling asleep that night wondering what I’d feel like in the morning, “a new person in Christ.” That’s what he said I was… a NEW person in Christ. Wait, would that mean I’d wake up tomorrow morning a heterosexual and my past behind me? NOPE! I found out the next morning it doesn’t work that way, at least for me it didn’t. Looking back there was a lot of baggage He needed to show me and get rid of and there was still a lot I needed to learn about my new life and God. #still learning. My ex wanted to come and visit so we made plans. I knew that the very first thing I wanted to do was to tell him about my new life in Christ. I’ve learned that when God is in something with you and you're glorifying him, it works, it just works even if it seems difficult and you’re shaking like a leaf. The first thing I did when he arrived was to sit him down and shared with him that I had given my life to God and that I had never been so at peace and happy. I tried to explain that the feelings I was experiencing weren’t only physical, I was happy from the inside out…I was at peace! He was very understanding and we parted ways. Eventually he began to text me asking questions and was open to hearing about God’s love for us.