It's all in the T word

Ok, so we have free will.  We actually have a God that loves us far beyond what we can fathom and wants to be loved in the same way…. let’s face it He has the capabilities to create that love in us, to love Him back but doesn’t … won’t.  His love is perfect and He doesn’t want a robot or clone to return empty love but someone that chooses over everything else to love the God that gave us life and loves us beyond our comprehension.  I know there are a lot of people that don’t even believe in God at all for what ever reason.  Some believe just enough to blame Him when things seem to go wrong in their lives,  some believe if it fits their life twisting scriptures around to meet their needs and justifying their lives. 

Free will.  Interesting that it says “free” because our decisions can cost us everything if we don’t ask for help.  Yep, I’ll say it again, He’s there for you… I had questions… I asked for help….and got it.  He loves us!  I chose to trust and love Him back and yes He asks one thing of us… to do His will.   Be like Him.  Let others see Him through us. I mentioned that I thought my reason for being on this earth was over,  I felt empty and used up… but not in His eyes,  I’m now understanding that the “journey” He referred to didn’t stop with the end of taking care of my family, in fact, my family got a whole lot bigger!  I’m being tested, taught and nurtured to be all that I can be for the rest of my journey home. The wonderful thing is that He won’t ask us to do anything that  we can’t do.  Here’s the thing, all you need to do is to “let go and let Him” TRUST Him,  let Him guide you and lead you to the place where you need to be, where you can be. I have to tell you, just because I’ve chosen to follow Jesus, doesn’t mean my life is any simpler or without challenges and thats OK cause  I don’t and won’t face them alone….that’s where the “T” word comes into play. I have my phone next to my bed programmed to wake me up and give me scripture every morning…so the first thing I put in me is God’s word.  I love it!  A while back, for about a month or so all the verses that I read were of encouragement, that I’d be going through a rough period but to have faith and TRUST in Him and He would heal me and that He’d be with me. He’d strengthen me, help me and during this time He would lift me up in His righteous right hand and give me peace.  Every verse was about trusting Him, healing, not being alone and peace.  At the time I really must admit I didn’t think these words were for me but I’ve learned my timing and God’s timing are not the same…. He sees the big picture while I see what’s in front of my nose.  So I held them close to me.  About a month later I went to my annual physical and found out that I had  cancer.  When I was being given the results of all the lab work I remember having complete peace.  COMPLETE PEACE!! It was a peace I don’t think I’ve ever experienced before.  While I sat in front of the Urologist explaining all the results from the biopsy I had to fight not to smile.  Every scripture came back to me.  It all made sense!  God warned me!!   I let go of any fear and let Him take over.  IT’S CALLED TRUST.  Through this experience, my faith increased fundamentally.  I see everything through His love, everything!!!  God isn’t a judgmental, reactionary God.  He looks after us and just as a good Father would do He’s there to warn, protect, comfort, provide guidance and encouragement. 

I know your thinking that if God loves me so much, why did He “give” me cancer…. He didn’t!  Come on, think about it.  Why would He tell me He loves me then warn and heal me of something that He did… nope!  We’ll get into this a bit more a little later.  As I trusted Him with all of what was going on in my life, He took over.  It was incredible!  I experienced an aspect of God I’ve only heard of, read about and believed existed.  I’m telling you,  God isn’t a pipe dream for losers, it takes a strong person to step forward, to trust and receive that love!!!  

Here’s a perfect example of Him taking over.  I was instructed by my doctor to pick a surgeon that I felt comfortable with… really, and how do I do that?  I’m creative NOT a medical expert!!!  I was given names of surgeons that I needed to meet.  I was told that even if I didn’t like the shoes he was wearing to keep looking.  I met with the first surgeon and it clicked!!!  I felt at ease with him and could talk freely… he was human….if you know what I mean? (and I did check out his shoes, they were cool, really cool!!)  He was the one!  But I have to admit, deep down I still had that small voice questioning if I made the right decision.  I’d rather have a surgeon I hated but new what he was doing than have someone I personally liked but did’t know what a scalpel was…. it kind of ate at me. I have a friend that I met through work, she was here because her husband was doing the second phase of his residency  in the city.

They had just moved to LA to finish up his schooling.  I decided to call her and catch up and see how they were enjoying LALA land and update her on the events in my life.   I began to explain that I was about to have surgery the following week.  I didn’t even get to finish my sentence when she asked “who’s your doctor?”  I proceeded to tell her but there wasn’t any reaction …. complete silence.  Then her husband (who I call Doc) got on the line and explained that my surgeon was his mentor/instructor and the best around for robotic surgery… and I couldn't have done better!!!!  GOD IS GOOD!!!!

◎SIDEBAR …. the scriptures I was given to read every morning regarding trusting Him and letting Him take care of me, aren’t empty words on a page.  He is His word!  I chose to trust Him and have faith and He held up his end of the promise… I’m cancer free!

You see, it’s all clear to me now, I know where that journey’s taking me.  You can only make a good choice if you know what your choices are.  You are the OTHERS that he told me about years ago.  You see, it’s not only me He wants with Him, but all of you!!!

FOCUS!!  Yah, I know,  I can hear all of you yelling at me right now… being gay isn’t a choice!!!!!  Believe me, I get it!  I was there too.  The thing you need to accept is, no matter where it came from or when it started, in God’s eyes  it’s just sin, plaIn and simple.   BUT and it’s a gigantic BUT!!!!  Here’s the thing… Jesus took care of all that on the cross!  I’m living proof He doesn’t hate us!!! That’s the awesome thing,  choose a new focus, HIM, and you can feel this love like I am and see and feel Him in your lives….The ball’s in your court…. LET GO LET HIM.  Trust God.